Holier than Revan
by Alien-Pacifica
Summary: Revan declares war on God
1. Chapter 1

Holier than Revan

God looked down on earth. There was over six billion people, non of whom believed in him anymore. He would destroy them. Suddenly a spaceship came flying threw the clouds, in which God sensed one life form, who was filled with hatred, and two mechanics. God sensed that the malevolent person would be the biggest threat and summoned several thousand angels to either persuade him, or her, onto their side, or kill the person.

Darth Revan entered earth's atmosphere in a very bad mood. He had just buried his pet Nexu on Felucia. They had been killed by a mysterious disease and Revan was going to make someone pay for their deaths, as they had been very close, even if the idiots on this planet had the worst technology in any universe that he could name, which was a lot, and, therefore, couldn't defend themselves from the sith lord's wrath.

He landed next to a restaurant in the middle of a desert and left his co-pilot, a droid called T3-M4, in the Hawk. Revan entered the restaurant, with his other droid, a dusty red assassin droid whom he had built personally and had named HK-47, in time to see a young man being attacked by an old woman. Everyone else was shouting in shock and the dark jedi let loose several bolts of electricity at her. "Who are you?" he asked calmly as soon as he had finished torturing her. "I was sent by God. You will all burn!" She snarled. "God." the sith lord mused, before raising his hand and cassuly snapping her neck without even touching the woman.

Everyone else was watching this in shock. **Pathetic fools** thought Revan, as he prepared to order his assassin droid to kill them. "Have you come to save us?" asked a waitress. The dark lord thought about this, and decided it would be more entertaining to kill God than the people on this planet. After all, his name did mean revenge. "Yes." he said, smirking beneath his mask. **God will pay** he thought.

Thousands of miles above them, God felt the "human's" rage increase. He also felt that he was the object of that rage. "**Attack**" he told the angels.


	2. Chapter 2

Holier than Revan

Revan sensed the angels before he saw them. There were over a billion of them flying towards earth. Several million split from the group and headed towards the restaurant. The sith lord smirked under his mask. **This would be fun **he thought. The angels landed and the leader asked Revan what his name was. "Darth Revan, former jedi and sith lord. And you are?" the dark jedi asked. "I am Gabriel, the right hand of God. You will either join us or die." said the leader.

"Screw you." stated Revan. "HK, fire at will." he then force-choked Gabriel. The angels attacked. The sith lord used telekinesis to attack with his blue and red lightsabers, while blasting them all with lightning and fire. Meanwhile HK-47 was having the time of his life, as he was very rarely allowed to kill anyone. Soon the angels that had been sent to the restaurant were killed. Everyone started thanking Revan, who ignored them and searched for the rest of the angels.

God watched all this in fury. **How the hell can one human, even with super powers, and a psychotic droid, kill all of my angels**? he thought furiously**. At least he will be tiring soon. Then I will kill him**. What God didn't know was that Revan drew his power from his emotions, including hate and anger. Which he had a lot of.

After he had killed all of the angels, Revan levitated into heaven. And found himself facing, what looked like, a young business man. "God, I presume." he said. "Yes" replied the "man" replied. "And you are?" "Darth Revan. Former jedi knight and sith lord." Revan replied, before blasting God with lightning and flames. God didn't even flinch. Instead he redirected the attack back towards tthe sith lord.


	3. Chapter 3

Holier than Revan

Revan created a Force shield to protect himself. Soon the lightning and flames disappeared. The sith lord and God stared at each other, each wondering how to break the stalemate as, although God didn't have any offensive powers, he could turn Revan's attacks on him. Revan summoned his lightsabers and threw one of them at God, hoping it would cut him in half. Instead God managed to catch the lightsaber and rushed towards the former jedi.

Even in close combat they were evenly matched, very rarely managing to hit each other. Revan and God had a brief pause while they thought about how to break the stalemate, as God couldn't use offenssive powers like Revan, however he could use the dark jedi's attacks against him. And the lightsaber fight wasn't going anywhere either. Revan then had an idea and charged at God with his lightsaber. While he did so, he charged his blade electricity. When the blades met the sith lord used the Force to direct the lightning from the blade onto the blade of the lightsaber that God had stolen and into God. While he was writhing in pain, Revan used telekinesis to stab God with one of his 'sabers, and cut him in half with the other.

Revan smirked at his victory and levitated back down to earth. He went to the restaurant where is droids were waiting for him. "Come on you two. We're leaving." he said. They left.

THE END


End file.
